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SEXUALITY & LOVE
(IN ANSWER TO A QUESTION)
Rev’d Dr.Louis R Tarsitano and the
Rev’d Dr. Peter Toon
The other day I
heard someone say:
"I take a liberal view of homosexuality because, if Christianity is
about anything, it is about love. Sexuality, as an expression of love
between two people (even if of the same gender), is therefore surely a
good thing."
Of course you have heard it all before; but I am interested in 'unpacking'
this particular argument, and am interested in your thoughts.
Let us unpack it:
1. There is the assumption that Christianity is all about love.
Certainly in the Christian doctrine of God, God is Love – that
which is of the very essence of what unites the Father, the Son and the
Holy Spirit as One God, A Trinity of Persons, is Love.
Certainly, what causes this Trinity of Love first to create and
then to redeem the world is Love – “God [the Father] so loved the world
that he gave his only-begotten Son …”
Certainly, this Trinity of Love in the saving and redeeming of man
has the aim of calling forth from redeemed man, the response of love –
“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and soul and mind and
strength…”.
Certainly in his living of his human life the Incarnate Son,
Jesus Christ, both provided an example by word and deed of genuine love to
God and to man and he also left commandments requiring his disciples not
merely to love one another but also to love their enemies.
Therefore, Christianity is all about love, but the love that
seeks, wills and performs for the other what is for his true good. The
Greek word most often used in the New Testament of this love is AGAPE –
see e.g. 1 Corinthians 13.
2.
There is the assumption that sexuality is an expression of love
between two people.
In English we use the word “love” to cover a vast range of
meanings, which in
other languages would be covered by other words. So if we take a married
couple we expect them to love one another in the sense of desiring and
willing the true good of each other and of their children, as we also
expect them to engage in sexual intercourse for procreation (and for
mutual pleasure). In Hebrew the verb for sexual intercourse is “to know”
(i.e., to know intimately) and it is well known that in Greek EROS refers
to erotic feelings and relations between persons.
Sexuality used to refer to the biological make up of one’s body –
male or female – and to the feelings and drives associated with this.
These days it is often used to refer to the “orientation” of a person,
which it is said may even be “towards a male” even when the biology of the
desirer is that of a male, and likewise with a female towards a female.
So if any two persons feel a sexual drive or passion for one
another and they also feel they have a certain desire to be together more
than in terms of “a one night stand”, then it is asserted that they have
the right to know each other in the intimate sense through sexual
gratification. They have love one for the other and this is seen, it is
said, in their “committed relationship” involving sexual interplay. In a
culture dominated by rights, it is assumed by many that each of us has a
right to self-fulfillment and this includes sexual gratification with a
willing partner. And with the use of contraception and the like it is said
that no-one is harmed and no-one is procreated and so what is the problem!
3. There is the assumption that any expression of “love” is a good
thing.
Let us be clear. It is a good thing, a worthy and commendable thing,
when AGAPE is shown between persons, that is when the true good of the
other person is sought, even at great cost. The more AGAPE there is in the
world the better for everyone. Further, the more AGAPE there is in
families (here we may call it PHILIA, brotherly/sisterly love) the better
for families, tribes and nations. Most human beings at least secretly
admire the person who genuinely seeks to do good to others and societies
reward those who in courage save others. In fact part of the very basic
commandment of God is “love thy neighbor as thyself”.
However, if the love in question is EROS, then unless it is intimately
related to AGAPE it is usually a bad thing and belongs (in Christian
teaching) to the realm of lust, or immorality, or fornication or adultery
or other sins.
In conclusion
The Christian way of looking at sexual relations is not by beginning
on the horizontal plane where sociology and psychology flourish. It is to
begin with the primary doctrine of Christianity, the Holy Trinity.
The Holy Trinity has made man, as male and female, in his image and after
his likeness. Male and female in their union and complimentarity are
called by God to mirror the unity of the Trinity, a unity of AGAPE.
Thus the union of man and women in holy matrimony, in AGAPE, is the sphere
wherein EROS has its proper sphere, and even here it is not an unbounded &
unlimited sphere for it is subject to AGAPE.
In this light, all other relations between persons are to be governed by
chastity not by a claimed right by any to self-fulfillment or
self-realization. In the modern world this is a hard saying, and because
it is very hard, many churches and many Christians have tried by all kinds
of means and methods to get around it!
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